McKay's Unwealthy DAY too much bore for her
by hailstar
Summary: McKay makes a discovery, but that leads for more bore for Teyla, who is after Shepard's love...
1. Prologue

Stargate Atlantis

Prologue

_"Ummm… Why are you shooting me?" Asked Teyla to Lt. Colonel John Shepard._

_"I was shooting you?" He asked. "Sorry. I'll be more careful next time."_

_"I bet you will. But you still shot me."_

_"I said I was sorry."_

_"Sorry is not good enough."_

_"Then what do you want me to do?"_

_"Come here." He walked cautiously up to her, hoping that she wouldn't hit him. As he got close enough, she leaned in to kiss him. But soon she heard, "Teyla, wake up, wake up…"_

**Lalalala(Scene change)**

Teyla awoke from her dream to find Dr. Wier standing over her, with a case of bed head. Teyla held in the laughter. "Yes?" She said.

"McKay wants us in the infirmary. So get up and fix your face and hair and shit." Dr. Wier said.

"You might want to fix your hair too," Teyla said.

"My hair- what? Oh, no, that's gel."

"Gel?"

"Y'know? Sticky stuff you put in your hair to make you look like a total punk. Haven't you heard of it?"

"No?"

"Oh well. Does is look good?"

"Not really."

"Perfect."

"Why?"

"I'm doing it to scare McKay."

"Oh. I get it now." Dr. Wier left the room.

Teyla suddenly remembered the dream that she was having. She remembered almost kissing Shepard. She so wished she was back in the dream.

She reluctantly got out of bed and put on a uniform and left the room. As she was walking through the halls, she was met up with Dr. Beckett. He was gulping down on a cup of coffee. "Why does Rodney want us in the infirmary?" Teyla asked him.

"Probably to bug us some more," He said. "Like we need it. We get it every time we work together."

"Yeah," She said.

**End of prologue.**


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

Teyla walked in the room with Beckett by her side. McKay was sitting on a secretary char behind a desk, with an extremely anxious look on his face. Dr. Weir still wasn't there, and Teyla really hoped that she was taking the gel out of her hair. McKay looked around.

"Where is everyone?" He asked.

"Obviously," Teyla said, "they didn't want to come. They'll probably have to though. Dr. Weir will make them. So, what do you have for us?"

"You'll find out."

"Whatever."

"Please," Beckett said. "I'm tired, it's –" looks at watch-" two thirty in the morning! I hate getting up early! I thought that I'd gotten out of it when I got out of college. So please, this better be good. Or I'll have you shot. I mean it, Rodney! No more games."

"Okay," McKay said, "it's good, I promise. It'll blow your boxer shorts off."

Beckett looked uncomfortable. He silently whispered to McKay, "I wear tighty-whities."

"Oh."

"I'm here!" Dr. Weir said. But unlike Teyla wanted, she hadn't fixed her hair; she had made it worse! Dr. McKay screamed, and hid under the table.

"What the hell I wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Don't I look like a total punky gangsta'?"

"No, you look like butt hole."

"Oh. Maybe I should've used more tampons to straiten the hair."

"That's nasty."

"I know."

Soon Shepard was here, and so was Ford. Two more officers came in, and another scientist. Once they were all settled, and had great big cups o' joe in their hands, they started to listen to McKay.

"Ok," He said, "Here's the deal. An officer died yesterday when the Wraith attacked. His mane was Jerome Bardwell. His life was not sucked out of him though, nor was he shot to death. The Wraith injected a serum into his bloodstream. It killed him almost instantly. I've just finished to blood sample here. And according to my efforts, the serum had traces of crack, heroine, seamen, and Prozac. I have no idea where the wraith got this serum, but we need a full sample so that we can produce an antidote."

"Where is this going, Rodney?" Shepard asked.

"Well, two Wraith hive ships are coming to Atlantis. I have no idea how they figured out that Atlantis was still up, but they did. I assume that they have this serum aboard their ships. That's where you come in, Shepard. I need you to fly two teams into the ships. I already filled in Atlantis team five, and they're more than willing to help. The Deadalis is away on their trip back here from Earth, so they can't take out the ships with warheads. But we have a couple here. That will be your second objective, after you've got two serum samples, take out the ships. Got it?" Rodney finally finished.

"Okay, I've got it." Shepard said.

"How long until the ships get here?" Teyla asked.

"About twenty-four hours. The Deadalis arrives here in five days. We can't wait."

"And how long will it take to finish the mission?"

"Approximately thirty hours. That will give you four hours to destroy the ships and get the samples. But not necessarily in that order."

"Okay then," Beckett said. "So why did you call me down here, if it's their mission?"

"Because I'll need you to help me produce the antidote with Dr. Harold over there." He pointed to the other scientist.

"I see." Beckett said, "Now let me sleep."

"Okay."

**End of chapter one.**


	3. Chapter Two

**Well, before I go on with the story, I would like to ask that anyone reading this would please, and I can't stress this enough, review. I can't stand people who read something on this site and don't review it.**

Chapter Two

Dr. Beckett walked creepily over to his room across the hall from the control room. He opened the window next to his door and dumped his coffee out into the freezing ocean. He doesn't really like coffee; he just drank it to make himself look cool.

He got a lot of crap from his neighbors that lived next to him in Scotland, and so about five years ago, he moved to the United States. Then three years ago, he was chosen to go on an expedition to the lost continent of Atlantis. But he really didn't believe that Atlantis had indeed been found, and it hadn't, but he had high hopes. The thing that he really didn't believe was that a round piece of rock could sustain an artificial self-generated wormhole. That sounded like crap!

But that all changed when he saw the tapes of Col. Jonathon Jack O' Neil. A man who had led a team of two officers in the air force, an archaeologist, and an alien named Teal'c. Yeah, Dr. Beckett know knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep. He slowly crept into his room and played a Simple Plan c.d. at low volume.

**Lalalala**

Lt. Co. John Shepard walked a few blocks of annoying hallways and twists & turns, until he finally came up to the door of the room of the frustrating Ronan Dex. Shepard had gotten him earlier, but he was being a brat and not getting up. John knocked on Ronan's door.

He heard an annoyed voice say, "I'm not getting up, not even if you promise me a good night in the bed with some chick!"

"Can I come in? No chicks here," Shepard said.

"Fine," Ronan said. "You can come in. I just wish that you had a hot girl for me."

"Maybe someday," John said as he entered the room.

"Yeah, maybe someday I'll piss on Dr. Weir and say I didn't."

"That might work," John said.

"I guess so. What do you want?"

"We've got a mission," John said. "You can sleep, just listen up. The officer that died the other day, the one you were supposed to guard, had a serum in his bloodstream. This serum had crack, heroine, seamen, and Prozac. Have you ever heard of any of those?"

"The first three."

"Okay. Well, the Prozac was probably used to give pleasure to the receiver of the antidote just before they died. That's what Prozac does. Anyway, there are two Wraith Hive Ships headed for Atlantis. We are, meaning McKay, assuming that the ships are holding just barrels of this stuff. We need to get a large sample of it and blow both of the ship out of the orbit. I'll be leading the mission. Any questions?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Can I sleep now?"

"Yes."

Thank you." He full into his pillows and drifted off into a deep sleep. John left the room. When he got back to his room, Teyla was waiting for him by his door. He reaised an eyebrow, and she raised a pair of whacking sticks **(a/n: I don't know what they're called)**. "Why?" John asked.

"I won't be able to sleep," Teyla replied.

"Okay." John said, "I'll be there in five minutes.

"Okay."

**End Second Chapter.**


	4. Chapter Three

**A/N: If anyone is reading this, could you please review? That's all I ask.**

Chapter Three

Shepard knocked both of Teyla's sparing sticks to the ground, but then she tackled him. He let out a little grunt when he hit the floor, but nothing more. She looked into his eyes for a moment, but then got up before he noticed what she was doing. "You haven't been practicing."

"Well I haven't had much time," he said. "What with the Wraith appearing everywhere we go off world and all. Not to mention the problems and the Jenai **(A/N: don't know how it's spelt)**. There isn't really a decent time that I can find so that I could practice."

"If you really did want to learn, you'd find a time to practice."

"I've been looking for a time, really."

"Well find one," Teyla said.

"I will."

"Good."

**Lalalala**

McKay sat in his office, thinking about a way to better collect the samples without the risk of officer life. If the Deadalis was here now, than he could just beam the samples to Atlantis then beam the nukes onto the Hive ships. But from living on Atlantis for over a year, he's learned that things don't always work out for the best. Like him and Lt. Col. Samantha Carter. Oh how he longed for her. But she was away. Oh well.

Dr. Beckett walked in, with a terrified look on his face. Rodney raised an eyebrow.

"The Wraith that we've been holding in the shielded quarters has somehow gotten loose. I found two bodies, but I couldn't identify them." Beckett said.

"Would you call this shit, crap, or anal cheese?"

"Anal cheese, Rodney. We have a huge case of anal cheese."

"Oh shit!"

**Lalalala**

"Shepard," Dr. Weir said to John as seven officers and Teyla entered the briefing room. "The Wraith we've been holding has escaped. I want you're team and Atlantis five to hunt him down before you go on your mission into the hive ships. The lifesense detector in the control room, the one that can tell alien from human, is broken. Looks like you've got to make do on your own for this. May the force be with you."

"What?" Teyla said.

"Huh," Dr. Weir said, "Oh, I mean, good luck."

**Lalalala**

Ford went to go get Ronan up, while the rest of the two teams split up into pairs. Bye the time they got back, Ronan had to work with Ford because they were the only ones left without partners.

**Chapter Three Complete.**


End file.
